I will be sharing some secrets of a happy marriage and trust me, it is not only for married people. I personally believe singles will benefit more since they have all the time now to prepare ahead. So today we will be talking about the topic “ Having the same Love.” See this.
Have you ever seen two people who love football discuss about football. Wow, their faces light up and they become instant friends even if they are meeting for the first time. See two ladies discuss about handbags and hairstyles, they become best buddies immediately.
It actually irritates me when I meet couples who don’t share the same interest. A woman should learn about her husband’s job, profession, and/or career, leisure intersest, and anything he loves. A man should be interested in what his wife is interested in, her desires, her needs, aspirations and career/business. There is something about our interests that pulls a love chord in us. That is why sometimes colleagues of different sex working together might start having feelings for each other because they both care about the same thing and discuss that thing constantly.
Your husband comes home from work shivering with excitement and is longing to gist you about the new contract he wants to sign and you show a bored face and tell him “abeg lets discuss important things.” Hmm, you have hit that man below the belt and he will look for someone else who will share his joy with him. Your wife welcomes you eager to gist you of what she was able to accomplish that day, or show you your son’s report card and you pick a newspaper instead, she will get another ear to listen to her, even if it is your driver. As married couples you need to have the same interests.
Over time, you must have become so much a part of each other that you can even finish each other’s sentence (I do this a lot and my husband is like, let me land hehehehehe). Make his/her interest something you learn about even if you have to consult Google. When I got married I knew Ministry and Computers excites my husband, so I had to show some interest, learn about it and now when we both gist about both topics, we get so animated and could talk for a long time. Infact I got so interested in his interests that I learnt how to create websites and whenever I do any, he smiles as if to say I am a good student. Be your wifes/husbands friend, be able to talk about what interests you both. If your husband is an Arsenal fan, pls, biko, know the name of the coach, keeper, and chief striker and when they score jump up and down as if they are your brothers, when he does his birthday, make an Arsenal cake. Infact there is no harm starting out by acting until it becomes a part of you. Its intentional acting, not hypocrisy. If the bible tells you to love and there is someone you hate or don’t like, start acting as if you love them, before you know it you will love them for real. Sometimes the word of God looks like something that we can never achieve but start small and you will get there.
For some of you, the man/woman’s object of interest is his/her mother. Start a competition of who loves Mummy more. If your husband loves his mother, love her more. If your wife loves her mother, love her more and there will not be a cause for all this in-law rivalry. If a woman truly loves her mother-in-law, its likely they will become closer than the son and his mother so what will cause fight. If it is his laptop, you should start loving the laptop with him and both of you start pressing keyboard at the same time, before you know it you will start a pillow fight and he will leave that keyboard and start pressing you (lol PG).
I know there are extreme cases where a party has done all they know to do and the other party remains adamant. There are also cases where the love object of a spouse is something not palatable like sleeping around, drinking, abuse, smoking. Please don’t try to follow suit or encourage such acts at all. I am talking of cases where the love object is good and not harmful in any way.
In conclusion, all I have been saying is , find your spouses good, and unharmful Love object and love that same thing with fervor. As we determine to do this, even if we start out not really excited about it, By God’s grace we will get excited bye and bye.
Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, HAVING THE SAME LOVE, being of one accord, of one mind . Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Phil 2: 1-4)
NB: Peradventure you need help to be able to do this and you know in your heart, you don’t even feel like trying, why don’t u say this prayer. Lord Jesus, I receive you into my life as my personal Lord and savior. I renounce my way of life of hatred and selfishness and I receive your life in me, which is a life of Love. Help me to be like you. I accept you as Lord and master over my Life in Jesus Name, Amen.