I am a public speaker and one of my greatest joy is when I speak to an audience of people. I go up with a lot of trepidation and sweaty palms, but as soon as I start, it becomes a waltz dance and I see myself waltzing until I get to a crescendo. I love to speak to audiences, whether in a school, seminar, or a church. In fact I believe I was created for it. Someone once told me that I speak to her as if she is an audience. Even when I speak to one person, my voice gets so loud and exciting, as I vary pitches and expression, projecting as if on stage. I remember my husband keeps reminding me he is the only one I’m speaking to when we talk in the bedroom, lol, and I tell him “the world is a stage”
I believe the next thing that beats just speaking publicly on my list is speaking about what I love and that is interrelationships between humans. Because of this interest I tend to speak to a lot of young people about romantic relationships and I also speak to married people about marital relationships and I am aghast at the one thing I found out.
I am of the opinion that as love grows it should deepen and, believe it or not, get more exciting but the reverse is the case. I realise that whenever I speak to young people in relationships who are not married or getting ready to get married. I feel their excitement so thick in the atmosphere but fast forward three, or even two years after marriage, they start acting like strangers. While im of the opinion that there are a million and one things a couple should do to keep the love flame aglow. There is one that holds the medal and I feel like shouting it in my stage voice.
KEEP. DOING. WHAT. YOU WERE. DOING. WHEN. YOU. FELL. IN. LOVE
I realize for so many people, Love was a process but I am sure there was one thing that happened that busted the exciting bubble of love in your heart and made you week in the knee. I remember that I said yes to my husband when I was not so much in love with him (Yes it was a well informed and highly investigative decision to marry him). Yes, I liked him and his persona till then but I was not so much in love. Love came rushing forth immediately after I said yes from the look in his eyes. I saw a mix of joy, victory, love, even adoration in his eyes as soon as I said yes and that did me in. I bursted into tears (don’t laugh at me). I realized at that moment that no one had ever cherished me or seen getting a yes from me as a trip to heaven, like he did. He acted as one who found water in a desert that he had been, dying of thirst. I cried and he hugged me and held me and started praying for us (not me or him but us). This does not seem romantic but to me it was icing on the cake and the fresh tears seeped out. This was in an eatery at Ikeja under bridge. Whenever I pass there I still smile.
Our relationship started and eleven months later we were married. My marriage is almost seven years and he still looks at me that way and I remember that moment I fell in love with him. He used to hug me a lot and seven years later we are still hugging (average of thrice daily when we are together). We still steal kisses and make private jokes even when we are busy. In the bud of our relationships we used to go out a lot and we didn’t stop until recently when I started a new diet plan (more like changed my lifestyle) and lot of foods from restaurant doesn’t work for me, we find a way around it nowadays. He used to call me sweeta and still calls me that. He used to be proud of me and he still is (I remember whenever I’m in the car and he meets an old friend probably outside, he would park the car and make sure he introduced me. He would say “iyawo mi ton toju mi ni oh (my wife that takes care of me). When I started having babies, he used to always attend to their cry. Now when anyone of them makes a sound in their sleep trust him to still go and check.
When I ask him what were the things that made me attractive to him. One thing he mentioned is my friendliness and the ease in meeting people, last time I checked I have not changed. Another one is my respect for him. I still respect him. I used to look good and I still do. Then my active participation in bed, in fact I have improved that one oh (lol). He would be in a better position to tell you, but my marriage is still exciting and im not faking it. It is not because I have a special anointing or because I’m a sex, relationship, and marriage coach. It is because I never stopped feeding the love fire with firewood. Feed yours and it will glow.
So look inwards and think deeply on what tickled your fancy by your spouse. If they have stopped, tell them to continue. It could be something as astounding as he saving your life from drowning in a swimming pool or defending your honour publicly, create scenarios to make this happen often, and it could be something as mundane as the way she wrinkles her nose or how she scratches your back. Tell her to wrinkle it for you everyday or fleet something in the room that will make the nose wrinkle or tell her your back is scratching. So I hope you got it, the source of a thing is its sustenance.
What is the source of your love, sustain it by doing it often and NEVER STOP DOING OR BEING IT.