I am a cool, calm, and collected most times but whenever I am at the verge of giving birth, I am not cool at all. I keep screaming, shouting, and acting like a bozo. My two birth experiences were not really Hebrew in nature oh, it was correct Nigerian edition. I would be acting silly and professional at the same time. When the doctor tells me to place my leg in a certain position I will try to tell him scientifically why I can’t place my legs that way. If I’m told to relax or stop doing a particular thing I will ask the nurse or the attendant why I have to take that action or tell them they are being unfair (in Yoruba language). I am not a cooperative Mum at all during Labour.

When I was delivering my second son. Those kind of arguments started again and i would refuse to listen to the doctor. Thankfully for the doctors, my husband was with me. There was something the doctor told me to do and I said I won’t do it. My husband looked at me and said that same thing to me in the “I love you but u have to do this voice” and I found myself cooperating, so till the baby came my husband became the middle man repeating all the doctor said . The Doctor would tell him what he wants me to do and my husband will in turn pass the message across to me and I just did it willingly. As soon as I gave birth, the nurses were making jest of me. One of them said “Thank God your husband was here. If not, Only God knows what would have made you cooperative.
Later on I thought of that incidence and I realized the only thing that made the difference was the voice. You see. I have heard my husband’s voice for years constantly and I have associated that voice with Love and trust. That voice had always encouraged me to do what’s right. That voice had spoken Love and Care over the years so I choose to believe that voice and that was what helped me.
In life, everyone must have a voice or some voices that you reverently respect. Voices that can talk to you and you obey. If you are a living being and don’t have anyone you fear or respect, you should be feared. That means you can even think of doing something as drastic as sleeping with your mother and nobody will be able to advice or correct you. Have someone that can talk sense to you when you err because we are all prone to err sometime. That was one of the things I looked for when I wanted to choose my Partner. He must have someone he fears, so that if anything gets out of hand, there will be someone to escalate matters to.
Who is that person that can talk sense to you, that helps you to be a better you even if they need to be firm in the process. Don’t run away from them. Love them, Respect them, and Celebrate them. When I was younger, my mother was that voice to me and sometimes I would feel she was being too strict and careful but when I look back, all I can say to her is Thank you. Thank you for teaching me all the house chores and insisting I wash the floors even when I shed crocodile tears in order to escape. Thank you for watching out for me and letting me know what I shouldn’t do as a girl. Thank you for teaching me how to love, give and serve God. Oh I digress. I also had Pastors who encouraged me to serve God. They became a voice I listened to and they held me by the hand and guided me to a place of Total Surrender to God.
Heeding to a person’s voice should not be dependent on the person’s relationship to you but more of what that person has to say. If all a person says is how you can be a good 419ner (fraud) or how you can snatch someone else’s husband, please don’t listen. Someone who is adamant on making you a worse you shouldn’t be the voice you heed to.

The point I am trying to bring out is that If you were in my shoes, and somewhere out of this world/your sense (like I was in the labour room), Do you think there is a voice that could speak to you and you listen. If you are not sure. FIND THAT VOICE and LISTEN TO IT.
Much Love
Aderonke Taiwo

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