What Love is Not

     Hiya, I wrote this down and i felt i should share with you. Many people have different ideas about the word Love. Here are some beliefs that are totally wrong.
1.   Love is not a feeling(i.e based on emotions) but a decision;
Many people believe Love falls on them automaticaly and is based on their feelings. Love is not a feeling but a decision that takes a well thought out process. Which incudes whether the person is a xtian, his or her character, how the purpose of the person fits wth yours e.t.c. Boaz took out time to know about her. You cannot afford to be led by your emotions. They are too flimsy to trust.
You can just love someone as your feelings lead you, you have to think and reason out if they are really worth your love
So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings 10 so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: 11 bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. from (Phil 1:9-11 THE MESSAGE:).
We must do away with the idea of falling in love. You dont just fall in love, you grow in love, falling is not a good thing. The love that we need is an intentional love based on spiritual and moral qualities that is inert in a person. I dont underrstand how a christian would meet a smoker and fall in love with him. Then they say things like, ‘i just cant control my feelings when i’m around him.’ I believe when he turns you into a punching bag (after marriage) your feelings will get controlled asap. Love is not at first sight. Yes i know many will disagree with this. There can be attraction at first time, but it is not yet love without a commitment. Let me share my personal experience. When i was in University. I was in a church service when a man walked in. I couldnt understand( cos he was not really handsome), but at that moment my breath was taking away. Through out the service, my love for him increased as i saw how he prayed and worship whole heartedly. During the benediction, the pastor introduced him as a long time friend who was married with two kids. All of a sudden the love dissapeared, because i wasnt ready to become a second wife. Please our love should be with foresight and insight, not just at first sight. It is possible to meet someone for the first time and be attracted (it happens) but we cannot call it love until we get to know each others, character, faith, likes, e.t.c and take a decision to take the friendship to a relationship level and be commited to making it work. Love without commitment is attraction, because as christians we are not meant to love at a time it pleases us but to love with commitment.
So my dear, before you can say you are in love, are you really commited to that person. Will you still love him when the going gets tough. Will you love him as a mother loves her son at all times. Love is not only about feelings but also about COMMITTMENT.
2.   Love is not a game but a principle:

  Love is not a game you play (i.e testing different people until you find the  right one). Dating continually to test for compatibility is not biblical.   What the bible supports mainly is Courtship which has marriage in view. For the young people here if you are not ready to get married in a long time, dont bother dating because the essence of relationship/courtship is marriage. 

Song 2:7 Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem,by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer:Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,until the time is ripe — and you’re ready. from THE MESSAGE:).This place tells us not to stir up love if the time is not ripe. Majority of teenagers who get raped were raped by their boyfriend. If you are not ready to marry in the shortest possible time. Please stay away from romantic relationship. Love is not a game.
3.   Love is not expressed through sex but care;
Dont ever let anyone decieve you that if you love them you sleep with them. If you truly love someone you wouldnt sleep with them before marriage. Premarital sex is the height of hatred because of its effect (sin to God, diseases, undue soul tie e.t.c. Sex is fire. If you have sex with someone before mariage. It shows you dont love yourself and would love to be destroyed
If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. 1 Cor 3:17)
Justifying every other thing that precedes sex is also wrong.
They played the whore in Egypt; they played the whore in their youth; there their breasts were pressed and their virgin bosoms handled. 4 Oholah was the name of the elder and Oholibah the name of her sister. They became mine, and they bore sons and daughters. As for their names, Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem. Ezek 23:3-4J  English Standard Version.). We should also know that touching and petting is against God.God caalled Oholah and Oholibah whores because they got their breasts pressed. Everry young lady should see theirself as a bride of God. If God is your husband do you think he will be happy with another man fondling you or petting you. The test of love is if a man will leave you and promise not to touch him until you are married. For those who are already engaged, lets still hold on until we get married and our name changes to the mans. A lady’s fiance died two weeks to their wedding day. She was so devastated and kept on eating to avoid depression. She was getting bigger by the day. Five months later, the change in her weight got alarming and she had to go to the hospital. At the Hospital she was confirmed pregnant. She was not happy because, she is still Miss Lagbaja and now a single mother. Even though she was a christian and had kept herself for a while, she slept with her fiance like 3 weeks to the wedding, because they were so sure they were going to get married anyway.Now she is so ashamed of herself. It pays to wait. No marriage, no sex.
4.   Love is not self seeking but selfless; Im sure if i ask you what will make your marriage wonderful, you will likely sound like this, “my marriage will be wonderful if i find a Godfearing, handsome, rich man, who is caring, romantic, nice ………….e.t.c.” Its unlikely to hear you talking about youself. I tell ladies the success of your marriage lies more even with you. If you want a Godfearing man, Are you Godfearing, If you want a rich man, are you rich? Everyone wants to fall in love to have their needs met not in order to meet the needs of others.The love God thought us about  i.e Agape love is not selfish and considers more about the need of others  (1 Cor 13:5-7  5 Doesn’t force itself on others,Isn’t always “me first,”Doesn’t fly off the handle,Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, 6 Doesn’t revel when others grovel,Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7 Puts up with anything,Trusts God always,Always looks for the best,Never looks back,But keeps going to the end.)from THE MESSAGE:

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