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MARRIAGE SHOULD NOT KILL YOU

When I was younger I thought marriage was everything. I was the girl when asked what my ambition was. It might likely sound like this
1. Get married to a good man
2. Have beautiful Children
3. Take care of all of them

As I grew up I realized that was not all there is to life. I got to know that everyone on earth has deposits in them that God has invested in them to make the world a better place. Whoever you are you have some gifts in you that comes out of you effortlessly, but that’s not the focus of my write up.
I have known many a woman who was brimming with great dreams and desires, in fact burning with them, but as soon as they get married it is as if a fire extinguisher dowsed all their dreams and when you ask them, why have you not written that book or song, started that business or church, written that code or website, gotten a better job or created one, the next answer you get is that “marriage is an handful oh, before I take care of my husband and plenty children, when will I have time to chase any dream. I am in real life.

In some other case you see someone who was an omalicha, sweet 16 and fine like wine become an old hag overnight who goes round the house with a dirty, soggy wrapper with saliva drooling down the mouth and you wonder what happened and they tell you they can’t even make up or dress well again because they are now married. Haba.

No wonder some people are scared of getting married. As a young girl, even though I understood purpose and all God will have me do. I was scared because that vision was bigger than me so I didn’t evn take any step towards it. In comes my own “Sweeta” into my life and the first thing he talked to me about was how marriage was supposed to make us soar higher and fulfill purpose.

I could remember a date we had in an eatery in Mafoluku, We had looked at each other, talked to each other, taken some snacks and I knew I was running late. So I looked at him and said “Pastor, eje kin ma lole (Pst, I should be on my way home (at this stage I have not even wrapped it round my head to use pet names cos he was way older than me and you know yoruba’s and respect). So he grabbed my hands and said why don’t we share a word of prayer before you go, I look around wondering why we had to pray in an eatery but I shrugged and took his hands and we started praying softly. All of a sudden there was a switch in the spirit and he started prophesying over me. He told me all God would use me for, how I would be a voice in my generation and said a lot of thing that I can’t share here. There were a lot of confirmations to the things I knew I was supposed to do.

After the prayer, he hugged me as if given me a solemn pledge that he would allow me be all God has said I should be. He has kept that promise and even gone farther. He has pushed me to achieve even my mere desires. He refused to make me settle and keeps pushing me high. He is the one person I know who believes in me more than I believe in myself. He has loved, cared and cherished me all these year and I am happy that marriage has not killed me but pruned me so I can bear more fruits.
Recently we (hubby and I) submitted a write-up about our marriage to a blog and our story was chosen as part of the 20 finalists. We asked you to vote and you did. This is to let you know we won. Yipee. Thanks.

I love you toritorun,
Ronke Taiwo
5/9/16

 

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